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Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
hellos.lohas. hihihi. i wan tok to arif. juz feel like it hehehheeh. im at mac. happy. cos ive finally gt my lenses. getin used to hard lenses kinda irritable. bt ok la. not tearin tt bad marketin plan da pass up tml we presenatin dunno whether its done. its with zura. juz now we all met up... did it all. zura addin e finishin touches thn sendin it to e pink lady my fries hav turned cold. n this khatib mac has gt lotsa indians werkin . hehehehe. lifes a bitch. shall i say it again? life is a bitch. seems like tt. nono. it def is. i miss my lovables. lots. juz chat wif prashant mins ago, miss my viba. haven met him in MONTHS LA K! hehhehe wel hes havin holz. shd b meetim him next week if evyting goes fine. haish next wk wil b STUDY LIKE MAD WEEK. SLM week. evydae study study study. goodness. now i juz FEEL n NOE. life is def a bitch a freakin bulldog bitch. n best part is. I HATE DOGS. K i startin crappin. haha. hehe. weeee heeees. haiyo. haish. ryt after exams its ramadan unoe EXACTLY e next dae sia. like lets celebrate e end of exams by FASTIN. wow! wee! AWESOME! my foot la k. shut up. not tt i dun like fastin. i luv fastin. juz tt. haiya dunoe la. wanna like u noe. relaaaax. n fastin is not relaaaxin. unless i slp slp slp which is nt e ryt thing to do. nw im thinkin wd im gona do for ramadan. DO COOKIES! atleast one . by my ownself. papa wans me to start cookin for e family. hope tt i learn sth gd n thn i can cook. yay. thrs raya shoppin to do. thn thrs buka-ing wif loved ones. thn thrs lotsa prayin n readin e quran n of cos obviousli ive nt forgotten. the hundred n one family squabbles im soo gona look forwrd to. e nice nice fights which wil result in waterfalls evywhr. yeah. kinda happenin la. not bad. lets see if im strong enuff to face it this yr. yet again. last year's raya was a complete mess. thnks gdness i had a human being by e name of aynul nazminah arnd. this yr. god knows la. god if u ever read my blog this is wd ive to say to u. im sorry. for notprayin regularly. for utterin vulgarities like they were my second tongue by lettin my anger get e best of me. for not followin e rules n regulations of Islam once in a while. i m sorry. for e many sins ive commited if i had a favour, would u do it for me? i know god would. cos u are god. u are full of kindness u wil forgive me n grant all my wishes so my wish/favour is, to knock sum gd senses into my papa n mama. to make this raya e best raya for my family. for ME. k im selfish. bt i haf to be. i mean if i dun ask for myself, hu in e whole werld will ryt? yeah. so god, give me n my family sum peace. reduce all e tension fr us. for me. my mum. n dad n sis. esp my dad n mum. they need it most. fate is as such. i have to face it. bt god can u please. please try make it a gd one for me this yr this raya. for once i want to be HAPPY. h.a.p.p.y. juz happy. real happiness. u noe sincere happiness. like i dun wanna fake it infrnt of mummy. n daddy. like i always do. im two faced. cos im forced to b like tt. this yr n for e many yrs to cum wil u please bring in sum peace in my family. i hope u wil read my blog ya allah. k wdever i type is wds on my mind n thts wd u cn see n hear so please. i promise to b a gd gal. i wun do silly stupid things which dun gain me aniting all i ask for it for sincerity in evryone in my family. e 4 ppl in my hse. we hide behind these walls we've created. of cos there are happy moments. bt they dun last. at e end of the dae. e problems seem bigger then e happiness. yesh haf to face it. i need help. cos im breakable. im soft hearted. im like tt. evry yr i make up my mind to b strong. n i try. try soo hard. to no avail. im human. so please. let this b my yr. let this b a new startin for all of us in my family. this ramadan i wish for all ive mentioned. insha allah, pls grant them. aaameeen. |
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