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Monday, February 04, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
if things cudnt juz b better.like i haven had enuff of breakdwns hot tears squeey stomachs n to top it all of an aching heart. n im afraid im losin sumone impt. this nag at e last bit of my mind. ive lost my wallet. my hp is spoilt my family is breaking. hes seemingly distant so what shal i do. IM SICK OF BREAKIN DWN. OK? y r u all soo selfish? y doesnt anione think of me. im friigin 19 this yr. i dun haf to go thru this shit. i noe many others hu live life like thrs no tml. dun haf a worry. or they choose to b tt way. i juz cant ok. she is selfish. cos she doesnt care abt how others feel. shes gt her freakin priorities jumbled up her ass. she is breaking. evryone is out to kill her peace. tts how she tinks. she cannot handle e truth. shes livin as tho shes dead. n e last thing she needs is this. he. he. he. i dunoe wds happenin wif him under lotsa pressure. too many things to do. wonder whn hes gona blow. n me. i haf sch. exams. graduation poly admissions. ive gt home. correction. its not a home. thrs no peace. ive gt sumone hus full of nonchalance. future is fkin scarin e livin daylight outta freakin me. im careless. im juz soo distracted im losin it. help. i need attn dammit. dun overuse those 3 werds. whn u dun show aniting. tts how i take it. im in search of sth. sum quiet. in all this chaos. its soo difficult to use this fkin plastic smile. all e tym. tt feelin in syd. its constantly makin me hurt. im not alone. of cos. im not sayin i dun haf anione. bt ryt. now. i wan sumone. i wan u to b wif me. bt ur not. i cannot decipher u. i wan u to show emotions dammit. u did. bt nw its nt e same. mebe its juz ur .. ur. thing. n im being unreasonable. i can do wdever i like. im responsible for my actions bt i wan u to take responsibility. of me. i wan u to care. to show. to sumthing. evryone is bz my dear. evryne is. i m . u r. ur mum is. my neighbour is. fadie is.. god is. bt all it takes is e thought. juz a msg. im freakin bz with a whirlpool of fk arnd of me . bt if i. if i can freakin make tym for u. y cant u do e same.? isit cos my situation is totaly diff frm urs? cos uve gt THAT major responsibility tt i dunt? tt responsibility which is givin u much trouble n ur not sure how to handle it? thn hu m i? arent i to b taken seriously too? hw many ppl do u say e same things to? wds goin on in e insyd of ur brains?? i dun feel guilty im doin wd u dun like. cos ur freakin indifference is killin me. if u think im an easy game. think again. i try hard to keep u arnd. bt seems like u duwan me arnd. hard eh? or m i juz thinkin too much cos im feelin lonely. n in desperate needs of sum tranquility. im jealous of ppl hu haf a happy family. it hurts whn i noe i cud haf e same thing too bt really nth is in my hands i envy so much whn sumone says sunday is FAMILY dae oh im out wif my family oh we're watchin tv oh we're goin out for a movie. im jealous of girls. hu feel loved. hu get msgs which make them blush hu get swt lil nths. warm surprises. simple gestures things tt mean soo much. cos i noe i had tt. n mebe i lost it. or mebe im not fit for aniting or. as alot keep sayin hes not e one. il break if u say im nt e ryt girl. 03' bonnie n clyde. julz. |
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