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Friday, August 15, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
i gues i came clean.to rifah. thnks to hudaya. bt cumon. its bound to happen. to e many ppl hu noe. or hu think they noe. or wdever it is. i noe it wun werk. i nvr said it wil. n im waitin for a fonecall to end it. hw i wil do it is sth i haf to rehearse. i found a chatterbox at werk. sumone hu toks more thn me. [its lyk WHOA!?!? ryt? i noe.] hu has more things to say thn anione in e flyer. reminisces. e past. e present. n i enjoyed it all. i loved e companionship. cos i noe i cant love anitin more thn tt. this chatterbox is not here nimore. thank all e heavens in rifahs werds. "im saved." bt the fonecalls onni died. a week ago. traumatising. cos im sumone hu thinks like thrs no tml. n thn just whn i make a decision to stop. I GET A FKIN CHEEBAI CALL!!! bt i think i handled it wel. for starters. all i said was "ah. ah. ah. no . dont. bye" im not up for it yet. bt NO. i wil. i haf to. cumon!! its exactly like twillight. this book im readin. just tt bella is totally crazy abt edward [in da later part of e bk la. i haven gt thr] n im not totally crazy abt anione. im a human being. born into mother earth out frm my mothers womb. so of cos its saddening. at sum point. just get me SHEESHA SUMONE. or mebe il try e "graveyard" hahaha. eew. no way. che che. k mummys b dae todae. went to arabstrt wif hudaya huda n rifah. got mum tudungs n all. nth much thinkin of better things for tml. n thn hudaya just went "i just wanna relaax... sit dwn... smoooke.. THN CHAO." hehehehe. n huda cant stop repeatin it hehehehhehe. its like our punchline frm todae onwards heheheheh. u noe i haf lotsaf fun at werk. IM WERKIN PM SHIFT EVRY SINGLE MUTHERFKIN DAE. n thn later it gets depressing. hahaha. cos its like abit mundane aftr a while. mondae tues ur all enthu n all cums wed til sat ur practically dyin. kan now rifah da ful tymer. kesian aku. go brk alone. of cos gt daya. hudaya. n thn she.. myt becum a full tymer too. GOSH. all leavin me alone ah. NAAABAE. hehehehe. hehehhe. these vulgarities are crazy at werk. todae. we were cleanin up e capsules. [nt part of e OPERATIONS CREW'S jobscope] bt just help muthu e [CHEE KO PEK] N CYNTHIA. shes crazy la. i tel u "ccchheeebai.. y so dirty? "ccchheeebai theses students ah.. "cccheeebaai y cum here? rifah n i were dwn to e floor laffin. its funni e way she toks. shes a filipino. n shes TOTALLY FREAKIN CRAZY. let me give an insyt of my crazy werkmates. we go nuts whn its gets stressful. n e onni way to let it all out. is a FULL BLAST OF vulgarities. n thn we laaff. n laaf til we cry. werks wonders i tell u. n of cos we gossip abt ppl we hate. ppl hus werk attitude like longkang kat jb. ALFIAN. sang me a birthday song. at my face. thr n thn. whn we're havin our brk. n i was like. soo surprised. i nearly cried. one cuckoo whom i call "vroom vroom" gt bike wd. hes suppa cute la. its his specks. haha. e specks. HUDAYA no need to say my khaki. we nearly get to werk together evrydae n shes a "naabae" loudspeaker. heheheh. small in size. voice louder thn... her size la. hehehe. crazy gal frm nyt safari. u must see e way she gets EXCITED. she starts havin an orgasm wif e WALLS arnd her. of cos. e fetish for ang mohs. [like most of us at e flyer] IRFAN. alot of ppls honey boi. hes freakin cute. ahhaha. toks nonsense n gets away with it. gives wierd sugestions n thn smiles like hes won e lottery. n thn sends this realy swt msges. at tyms. really surprisin n sweet la. not aniwhr near e typical mat n all tt bull. aftr this im just tired. il upload pics tml im off. finally aftr werkin n werkin n werkin need to catch up wif things tts happenin arnd me namely my home. things wif daddy ok. bt thn again. i wanna keep my distance. i dun get fonecalls at nyt nimre. n niwaes im way too tired to answer im aslp once i touch my bed. twillight keeps me up for abt onni 30 seconds before im snoring. its sad la. thr are tyms during my werkbrks. i wanna call up somone . anione n jus u noe tok. like how i used to. i jus feel very detached. nt sure wd to say animore. hw to start a convo or things lyk tt. so i sit thr n read or stare at e sky. tt dae i was readin n i decyded to watch e sky. was gona rain soon n heavy clouds were like driftin towards e left of e sky.. i juz watch n watch it was.. serene. e feeling was good. i didnt feel ani burden in my heart for tt 20 min. juz watchin n watchin n thn i saw e first rain drops. fal n fal n e rain gt heavier n poof. im almos drenched. man tt felt good. im very much engrossed in twillight. n b4 tt "a hopeless romantic." this fkin book is abt e fkin gal HU IS EXACTLY LIKE ME. like u wanna noe wd kinda freak julie is go grab tt bk. the way e gal thinks. [shes a hopeless romantic. believes in happily ever aftr n all] hw she ends up wif e rong guys n all. n im stil nt done wif e endin of the bk once hudaya gt me hooked to twillight. i gt excited n forgot abt this bk bt e hopeless romantic just reminded me alot abt e chatterbox. i dun need a bk to teach me how to make decisions. bt its like part n parcel u noe. things happen along in e way. n u move on frm thr b a better person. sth like tt. i can cum up wif a whole lot of negativity whn i wanna describe myself. bt now im like through n through. like. evrything evolves arnd werk n tryin to get home as late as possible to slp n thn wake up late n rush to werk. yet again kinda monotone. bt im havin fun at werk. its just once in a while. whn i watch e skies. i ask myself. "wth m i doin wif my fkin life" thn i stnd up n rush bac to werk. runnin away frm problems. u myt say. bt tml is another dae. il juz go chk out e sch thingie. pls pray i get into sp. next yr. n pray things in my house wekr out. of cos. if thrs one more news u ppl wanna noe. thrs a new offspring sumwhr. im numb ready la kan. nvm . e person thinks tt as long as i noe. evrytings fine. one dae la. ok. one fine freakin bright sun shiny dae i wil burst open. thn god wil save me. frm e authorities of e parent. its ok. im PERFECTLY ALRYT. im doin fine. better to keep a distance thn to get close n thn get hurt. kather asked me once. julie can u think of all ur situations/probs. n describe it in one werd. sth like a methoporical phrase. i cant do it in one werd or phrase. bt im stil werkin on it kather. but basically. i put this one person up in e sky. keep him soo high up thr. all tt respect. n tt person. is just slowly. bringin his ownself dwn. frm up e sky. all e way dwn 600 ft. n i haf simply no werds. none. enuff of e tears. heartbreak. pain. im jus gona wait n watch e show cumin raya. gues tts wd life is abt ryt. u learn n keep learnin. n just cont tryin to live up to ur own expectations. b4 u even try for others' expectations. whoa. sucha a long entry ah. wth. things i wanna do. for e future weekends. *sentosa. *sheesha. *meet my lovables whom i miss. catch up on evryting ive missed out on. *do sth abt my sch. *start my prayers. START FREAKIN PRAYING. mebe thn il haf a peace of mind. n oh. like all gals at e flyer. im stil waitin for "THE ONE" to arrive. haiyo. see. im bac to being e hopeless romantic. duwan ready la. duwan. k im off. muackz julz. |
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