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Friday, February 06, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
im kinda hurtin alot ryt now.e onni way to let it all out. blog. aint no matter whthr e matter is really personal. its over aniway. i dun care hus gona read it. cos seriously. its all my fault. its wad all my close frens said a fling. sth stupid. my stupidity. yet i wanted to haf "fun" e bestie said tt i liked e attn he was givin. so yea. true. i did. i made myself a promise. nt to go bac into it. gt myself into alot of trouble durin new yr. so myt as wel. let evrythin go start afresh for e new yr. new things to look forward to. bt i cudnt do it. i tried. it was painful. instead of being e nice n carin one. i became e total bitch. sarcasm in evrything i did or said. n ofcos. made use of him as much as i cud. cos in e end.. wd was e point. n hu cares? ryt? thn how cum its so fkin painful now. whn i hear werds like. e best is 4 me to let go. it was all i was waitin for. i was plannin for. i was ready for. n whn its finaly here. haish. im so stupid. arent i. yeah i m. of cos. im so stupid. nvm. e bestie said it wil nvr werk. n like she said. it nvr did. nvr wil thanks fadie. for undastandin tt im such a dumbass. i love u loads. no im not cryin. juz burdened. bt il get over it. very soon. cos im like tt. beter things to look forward to like sch. sch. sch. losing weight. n e bikeguy. sumhow. i stil turn out to b e bitch. leadin ppl on. pretendin evrytings alryt. steppin into fire whn i noe its bloody hell hot fire. haish. nvm. im done now. writing always has its advantages. =) i gues i wun haf animore disturbances. for real. no more scary thoughts of gettin caught. no more thoughts of betrayal. ya allah. thank u very much. what i tot was gona b difficult. turned out pretty simple. im stil living my life tryin to figure out what kinda person i really am. seriously tts a huge qn. for now. lets go read other ppls blogs n think of whats gona happen tml. gym in da am. n thn prayers at e uncles. focus on whts impt. * gainin my parents trust. * losing abt atleast 15 kg [is tt too much. just get to my ideal weight la k.] * start n concentrate on school. n oh. * get on with e regular praying. yep3. thanks blogger. for lettin me blog. muackz julz. ps. its tym for a new blogskin. mcm malas nk cari. |
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Julie is e name Twenty is e age Twenty Eighth July is e day Fadie is the bestie And of course. i'll rock your socks, baby Links
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