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Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
wel you can say im addicted to the song. well. today was a great day spent with e bestie. at wdlnds library. we did our werk. took crazy dynamic pics for msn. [mine, e beloved uses adium] we did manage to get atleast sum werk done la. better thn nth at all. =) met man for dinner. thn they cabbed home. i trained home. sth to talk abt todae. 2 things infact. i had a very disturbin dream last nyt. shah. this is abt u. haha. in my dream. u were goin to die. im sorry. bt tts wd i dreamt. i cant control my dreams. evryone knew. there was sth rong with ur bloodstream or sth n anytym u are gona collapse. n whn u do. tts whn u wun survive. [in my dream la. ] so wd happens is tt. u are stil up n about. u can walk n all n evryone noes tt ur tym is nearin esp me. n im cryin like a whoppari case. [u noe me well] all i can think abt is. hw im gona cont with my life without u. n ppl keep cumin. n its actualy sth like a "party" in our house which for sum reason is HUGE. N NTH LIKE OUR REAL HOUSE. like evryone is denyin e fact tt we are gona lose u. ppl u n me both noe. n dun noe all juz keep cumin n cumin n im desperately watchin ur evry move. u noe e truth as well. bt u dun seem sad at all. n wel u just keep givin me blank looks. i go into sum huge room n msg fadie n keep cryin mehru actually is tryin to calm me dwn bt im like BT ITS SHABANA. WD M I GONA DO WITHOUT HER MEHRU? " n sth like tt. yeah. i woke up feelin like shit. i tell u. shah. i myt b a fkin bitch at tyms im nth like u in many ways unless u count our shared love for drama/acting. i love you. very much. n i tell u. the dream was so vivid. the thought of havin to lose u was soo real. it was soo close to havin lost u. n not knowin wd to do abt it. at all. i love u very very much. i actually called u juz now. u didnt pic up la. i dun tell u this often cos we are both caught up with hell in e name of sch. i love you very much. dun leave me k. yeah. so yeah. 2nd. thing. e "stepmum" [ I HAVEN GOTTEN USED TO TT WERD OK!] texted me todae. surprised i was. indeed. abt askin me to drop by at wdlnds to see farhana [stepsis] cos shes learnin to talk. swt la kan? baby learnin to talk. n thn she said she was lookin forward to see me n we cud chit chat n all truth b told. she is definitely a nice person. n im just wel sick n tired of pretendin not to like their family or wdsoever. the werd CHOICE is very prominent here. bt haish. it feels nice. whn sumone msgs sth nice. n yeah. sumhow i now. tt i wil grow gettin attached to e baby. its this thing with me n babies. i love em. many2. so yeah. hmmmm. nt exactly an excitin dae. bt seriusly. im dyin for e hols to begin. i need a gd rest. i wanna slp all day long. seriously. tts wd i really wanna do. ive gt ICAs an audition rehearsals n confirm durin hols thr are gona b tons of projects as well. may god save me. make me pull thru pls. thank u very much. sth to add before i leave. * temptations suck * e day i learn how to resist temptations is the day ... er. i dunoe how to end this sentence. so. buhbye for now. lotsa love darlinz. muackz julz. |
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